


Amity's Diary Entries

by Sepublic



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23299750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sepublic/pseuds/Sepublic
Summary: A look at four of Amity's diary entries, each one covering the events of I was a Teenage Abomination, Covention, Hooty's Moving Hassle, and Lost in Language respectively. Written for her perspective, Amity goes in-depth about her thoughts, insecurities, feelings, and own perspective of what happened during those episodes.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 102





	1. I was a Teenage Abomination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity writes after the incident at school that day.

I’ve had… a pretty terrible day to be honest.

It’s been a while since Willow and I talked. We used to be friends, and I’m pretty sure we still are, but she’s been caught up in her own thing, and I’ve been caught up in mine. I have to work hard to keep up my grades and earn my status as Top Student, so I can’t afford to hang around her. She’d probably just distract me, considering how terrible she is at this class. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been constantly failing because she always focuses on plants instead.

But at the same time, I’ve been doing well, and I already wrote last time about how my Abomination project has been going along perfectly! So on the way to school this morning, I figure… Why not drop by, talk to Willow for a bit? Maybe reconnect. I AM the top student and I’m doing pretty well. Willow and I have been friends since we were kids, so I figured I might offer a helping hand to her! We haven’t really interacted much beyond me trying to encourage her in my own way.

I’m not good with small-talk in general, but Ed and Em are. They get on my nerves a lot and I know they’re jerks, but they’re also my siblings? They say they care for me, even after all of the harsh things they do. And yeah, they’re awful and slackers, but they can’t be bad at _everything_ , right? So I figured I might as well drop in with an opener on Willow, crack a few jokes- That’s what Ed and Em do with me all the time. All I did was point out the obvious- That I was better than her at school and that Willow needed to up her game! After all, I worked harder than her or anyone else to get my badge, so I at least deserve to feel a little proud of myself! 

_Of course_ , Willow’s Abomination is a mess. How can anyone stand to just… NOT do well in class? It can be hard even for me to keep up, but doesn’t it bother anyone else to _not_ do what they’re supposed to do? She really needs some discipline. I offer to give Willow some pointers later on, tried encouraging her a little while reminding her of what she _could_ be. I then headed on to school and I thought I handled that pretty well, but…

In class, everyone else was doing terrible, and Professor Varote threatened to give us all homework if the next project failed. I knew Willow was up next, and I knew how _her_ Abomination turned out, so I decided to be a little nice and do another friend-favor by volunteering next! I managed to distract Mr Varote, and he even called my work the best and gave me an A+! He said he always saved me best for last, and I knew _that_ from experience!

But… here’s where my day began to go downhill. It’s Willow’s turn to present, and earlier I saw her Abomination. It was barely even a puddle with an eye, but then when she told it to rise, it suddenly _jumps_ out, fully-formed and speaking in coherent sentences! It’s even smart enough to make puns!

And… I’ve seen a few breakthroughs and miracles, or at least _heard_ about them. Ed and Em have relied on natural talent to get through class all the time. But Willow’s _definitely_ not talented, and even if she were, her Abomination was a mess just minutes ago! Something was up and Willow was cheating, which… ugh. There was no doubt about it, and I hated cheaters. I get that she’s struggling like everyone else, but shouldn’t she have some integrity? If you’re failing in class, then maybe you deserve to fail, especially when you resort to cheating and spitting on everyone else’s hard work!

I was thinking about giving Willow a lecture after school about the whole thing, but then as I was leaving class, Mr Varote suddenly took my Top Student badge and _gave_ it to Willow! Even though I’ve always worked hard and gotten a consistent grade, Willow cheated once and suddenly she gets to steal my badge! You know, the badge I worked and studied HOURS, every day, for!

So, I call her out on it. I tell Willow that I know she’s cheating, and that she can’t just get away with this sort of thing. I didn’t know how she pulled off that stunt with her Abomination… maybe it was someone else’s… But either way I went off to my next class.

It was at lunch when I realized it- I was a few tables away, mostly reading because I forgot to bring my lunch again. I was keeping an eye on Willow and her Abomination, when I saw that Abomination eat a sandwich! Abominations don’t eat, it’s entirely antithetical to their whole nature and purpose as a construct!

And, I was having a bad day already- I LOST my Top Student badge. It felt like I extended a hand of friendship to Willow, and then she took advantage of it to cheat and take my reward. I wasn’t sure what was up with that thing, but it definitely wasn’t an Abomination, so I went over and called it out on its slip-up! Willow’s thing suddenly started playing dumb, as if it wasn’t making puns earlier, but before I could get any answers Mr. Varote sent me to Principal Bump’s office for ‘causing trouble’!

I… I’ve NEVER gone to the principal’s office before. I’ve been the perfect student, I’ve followed every rule! It wasn’t FAIR that I got in trouble while Willow obviously cheated and got away with stealing my badge! I’m not like Ed and Em! Why was I being punished while someone else got away with it?!

I tried not to cry on the way to the Principal’s Office. Like I said, I’ve never been there before. Still, I figure I might as well prepare my case before I presented it to Principal Bump. He’s been teaching at Hexside since _forever_ , and Ms. Lilith told me all about how he’s a really responsible, understanding person! So, maybe it won’t be so bad!

Principal Bump was surprised to see me there, especially since usually he saw Ed and Em instead. I quickly explained what happened, how it wasn’t my fault, etc. I was halfway through explaining Willow’s weirdly sentient Abomination when he really got interested, because it apparently reminded him of some incident that happened a bunch of years ago. He said he wanted to take a closer look at Willow’s Abomination, and…

Things were looking up! I realized I had Willow and her co-conspirator red-handed, so I agreed to take Bump to her so he could examine and even dissect the ‘Abomination’! Obviously I didn’t think he’d actually go away with it, there was no way Willow or her accomplice would let it happen- They’d have to admit the truth before any actual harm got done! Then I could get my Top Student badge back, and as for Willow… I wasn’t sure what would happen, but she’d obviously get in trouble. I dunno, I wasn’t sure if I should care for someone who cheated, stole my badge, and got me in trouble!

Bump and I eventually found Willow with her ‘Abomination’ and her friend from the Illusion Track. We were about to catch them red-handed in their scheme, when suddenly Willow’s friend made a mess of a bunch of Abominations! I got distracted and Willow and her accomplice ran off, and Bump tried to use the security system to catch them. He went ahead with his own Abominations, and I tried to follow him but then Willow’s friend used his illusions to trick me into going down the wrong corridor!

I still managed to catch up to the others when I heard a huge noise, and when I arrived there were plants _everywhere_. It was like a jungle had come to life, and I wasn’t sure how Willow did it –probably by cheating- but she was getting away along with that fake Abomination thing! I tried to salvage the situation and showed off my own skills with Abominations, but Willow still managed to get the faker out of the school. Before either of us could continue, Bump freed himself from some vines and immediately told the two of us to head to his office, NOW.

I tried to keep a cool face, but honestly I couldn’t and I could feel my face reddening as I tried not to lose my breath. I sat with Willow’s friend outside the office while Willow went inside with Bump, and I tried not to look at the dweebus as we waited. I managed to calm myself down, figured that this WASN’T a bad thing- Yeah the Not-Abomination got away, but Willow still got caught! She’d get punished, her grade would be revoked, and I’d get back my badge!

But then Willow and Bump came out, and Willow looked happy for some reason. She handed me back my badge, and at first I was happy, but then I remembered how she stole it anyway… And then Bump explained that Willow was going to move over to the Plant Track now!

Then Willow and her friend left, and I… I don’t know what to think. I asked Principal Bump if my work with the Abominations earlier could count as extra credit, and if my trip to his office would still count on my record. He said no to both of those, but it was better than nothing. At the time, I was just glad my parents didn’t find out, or else they’d be really mad and disappointed at me, and then Ed and Em would start making fun of me about it, and…

This day sucked. I THOUGHT I could start hanging out with Willow again. I haven’t really talked or hung out with anyone since forever. Mostly I just hang around at school, then the library, and then I go home. I thought, maybe… Maybe the two of us could have fun together, like old times.

But then… BUT THEN SHE STOLE MY BADGE AND GOT ME IN TROUBLE! She made me look like a dumb, stupid idiot in front of the whole cafeteria and Mr. Varote! I still got to keep my badge, but Willow didn’t even get in trouble! She just switched over to another track, and… a part of me is GLAD I don’t have to see her stupid face again, but I just…

I REALLY was kind of hoping we could be friends again! I thought that, maybe if I spent some of my time for studying on hanging out, reconnecting, tutoring, it could be like old times! That she could get good at classes, that we could BOTH graduate with honors… Maybe even the both of us could one day be in the Emperor’s Coven!

But I guess not. I tried to be nice and THIS happens to me. I know I still got to keep my badge and sort of got justice… But again, not really, Willow still didn’t get punished, just like Ed and Em and everyone else while I got yelled at. I thought I could count on her to still be a friend, to be someone I could rely on… but I guess not. I can’t count on anyone besides my teachers.

I’m so stupid. Why did I even think it could work out?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I love Luz and Willow as characters, and I don't really think they did anything wrong that they could actually be blamed for. But seeing as how I had to write in the perspective of Amity, who's also get her own bias and view of the situation, I had to make them look pretty bad. And while Amity did suffer a bit, and Luz and Willow certainly seemed to consider this, it's also important to remember that Amity was a bit of a jerk to Willow at the beginning as well. Honestly, I don't want to be mad at anyone- Aside from Tibbles and probably Mattholomule, I love all of the characters in this show. I want Luz, Willow, AND Amity to all be happy together.
> 
> I also snuck in a little headcanon I had about what happened off-screen, but it's really brief and inconsequential anyway. Professor Varote is the name I've given the Abomination Teacher, since we don't have anything right now. His name is a reference to Remedios Varo, one of the artists that Dana Terrace used as inspiration for the show! Like Boscha with Hieronymous Bosch, I thought it'd be a fun detail to include!


	2. Covention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity writes in her diary after the events at the Covention.

I saw that… human girl again. I may have overreacted. I don’t want to come off as cruel, I just… can’t show weakness. I tried to be nice to Willow, and look where THAT got me! In trouble with Principal Bump. Yeah, it quickly got sorted out, but I still got embarrassed and almost lost my badge. And of course, there’s Ed and Em and how THEY make fun of me, but… I don’t want to write about it.

I was at the Covention today, and I was having a lot of fun… I got to get an up-close look at the Emperor’s Coven today, and saw Ms. Lilith do a demonstration for them! It was a lot of fun, and earlier, it seemed like Principal Bump was pointing at ME when he talked about how any of us could be in the Emperor’s Coven! I guess he’s totally forgiven me for the whole Willow and the Not-Abomination incident. I mean, it wasn’t my fault and he SAID it wasn’t, but I was still a little scared.

Anyhow, when the demonstration was over, Willow’s Abomination-thingy just bumped into me. She explained that she wasn’t an Abomination –as if I hadn’t made that clear the last time we met- and explained that she was a human, which… Okay, that got me for a bit. I wasn’t sure WHY a human was on the Boiling Isles, much less at the Covention. Humans can’t do magic, and the Covention is for Witches who have an actual, vested interest in a career of, believe it or not, MAGIC.

I tried to get her off my case, but the human kept trying to get all buddy with me like it was all fine and nothing happened, like _I_ was the one who messed up last time! She even said I tried to get her dissected, which… NOT true. I wasn’t planning to get her dissected, I just knew that she’d have no choice but to reveal herself before that could happen! It wasn’t like I WANTED to see her cut up!

I reminded the human that her species literally can’t do magic, but she continued to act like it was totally possible for her to learn when her pet arrived. He had a cupcake, he dropped it, and I… well, I stepped on it.

In retrospect, I feel bad about it, especially since he didn’t really do anything. I mean yeah, he was friends with a human troublemaker, but still. I guess I just felt really mad about the Abomination incident, and I still kind of do… Plus, I hated how the human just acted like she could learn magic?! Like… NO, you can’t do that! Becoming a fully-fledged witch takes a lot of time and effort, so much studying, you have to give up a lot of things so you can focus if you’re not already talented… It was like the human was implying that she was just as good as me, which she isn’t! I EARNED my badge, and she’s just a poser who gets other people in trouble and helps unworthy people cheat to get a good grade! I felt like I had to stand up for _something!_

But then, out of _nowhere_ , the human challenges me to a Witch’s Duel! Which… I had no idea WHAT she was thinking because humans can’t learn magic and she definitely didn’t know any. But not only that, but she quoted the Good Witch Azura? She even mentioned the specific chapter from Volume 1, when Hecate goes back on her word so Azura challenges her to set things right!

And, that’s RICH, comparing herself to Azura when she’s more of a Hecate. It was weird to hear that human have the same interest as me, and even weirder how she thought she could do magic and then challenged me to a duel? But whatever. I realized I could get my revenge, all while showing off my prowess in front of an entire audience AND the Emperor’s Coven! It was two birds with one stone! I accepted on the condition that the human stopped trying to learn magic- Which, considering the facts, I was definitely saving her a lot of wasted time. I cast an Everlasting Oath and the deal was set for us to duel at the arena!

I told Ms. Lilith about it- Somehow she already knew and she said this would be a great demonstration for the Emperor’s Coven! She helped me rehearse and practice my spells, and when it was obvious I was doing great –not that it mattered because even the worst magic was superior to no magic at all, which the human had- we got ready!

And… OF COURSE, just like the last time I met that human, everything went wrong and…

I started off the duel with my standard Abomination spell, which I had been practicing at since forever! When it rose, the Abomination ended up being _huge_ \- Way bigger than it was when I’d summoned it just a few minutes ago! I wasn’t sure what was up with my good fortune but I decided I shouldn’t question it. In retrospect, I wish I had.

Everything was going great, and there was even a kid from class who was cheering me on! I tried to defeat the human, but then she suddenly started casting magic… Which, was impossible and after her whole conspiracy with Willow, I KNEW she was cheating! She hadn’t even cast any circles, I know because I was watching her hands!

I was right, of course- It turned out she had set up several traps, many of which could’ve _killed_ me, but then her pet came and accidentally saved me. Again, maybe I should’ve said sorry to him. The point is, I caught the human and her teacher –who Ms. Lilith called Eda?- red-handed in front of the entire audience! The human said she didn’t want to do the traps, and… in retrospect I guess that was true, because of how she talked to ‘Eda’. She DID seem surprised. Still, at the moment I wasn’t ready to believe her anytime soon. I guess I should’ve seen it coming in the first place, but it was just like how the human helped Willow cheat.

I guess I should’ve been happy because I won the duel AND made a great demonstration of my power in front of everyone, but as I was about to leave, Eda found a Power Glpyh on the back of my neck and removed it. My Abomination suddenly shrunk to a smaller size, and collapsed.

And… it should’ve been OBVIOUS that I had a glyph attached, but somehow I didn’t notice! I noticed my Abomination was somehow bigger than normal, but I STILL didn’t put two and two together, because I was dumb and thought I was actually doing well! Ms. Lilith admitted that she attached it when I wasn’t looking, because the human would cheat anyway, and… She was RIGHT, but…

It looked like I cheated. No, I DID cheat! I cheated, just like Willow did, and I did it in front of an ENTIRE audience! People knew, the Emperor’s Coven would see me as nothing but a cheater who couldn’t even beat a human! I didn’t KNOW about the glyph, but how could I explain myself?!

I ran away and hid. I… cried a lot. I think… I think my chances with the Emperor’s Coven might be ruined. Later on Ms. Lilith sent a message to the library telling me that she’d get it sorted out, but still. I looked STUPID, I looked like a cheater, and I’m not a cheater! I’m not like Ed and Em! But I doubt anyone else would be willing to listen, just like my parents don’t listen. Even now I’m still scared that my future is ruined. I KNOW Ms. Lilith said that I'm her best student, that it’d be all right, but what if it’s not? What if it was all for nothing? I’ve spent so many hours of my life, studying, working hard, practicing spells over and over. I’ve done everything I can to get extra credit. I stopped hanging out with Willow and anyone else, because I knew that one day, just _maybe_ , I’d be in the Emperor’s Coven! I’d be recognized as one of the greatest witches of all time, just like Azura! My parents would be proud of me, I’d prove I wasn’t like Ed and Em…

But no. NO. That wasn’t going to happen. It might not happen at all! Even if that stupid duel never happened, who was to say I’d do well enough to actually succeed! Ed and Em have a lot of talent, they’re naturally good at what they do, but I’m always struggling to keep up! I get the best grades in class, but only because I put so much time and dedication into it. If I mess up a little…

Before I could finish wallowing in my self-pity, I heard someone coming and wiped away the tears… and OF COURSE it was the human. Why was she following me, why was she so interested?! Was I just entertaining to humiliate, just like for Ed and Em?! She acted like it was all fine and dandy, like my entire FUTURE wasn’t ruined, and I…

I said a lot. I unloaded a lot. I said way too much about how I felt, and I made myself look like a fool again, in front of her. I told her that she wasn’t a witch, I wanted her to say it, and… she said it?

I know I said a lot of crazy stuff happened today. But then the human somehow did _magic_ , right in front of me, no tricks or anything! She drew what looked like a sigil on a piece of paper, and then the circle glowed, and the paper crumpled up and transformed into a ball of light.

At that moment, I forgot about everything, because again- It was a human doing _magic_. Not only that, but she did it a different way, too? She didn’t cast a circle in the air with her bile like an actual witch. After the whole mess I went to the library and did some research… I know that witches used to perform an old form of magic before we relied on our Magic Bile sacs. Supposedly, the old method was a lot less efficient. Drawing sigils… It reminded me a lot of power glyphs, or the scrolls that Ed and Em sometimes use. I wanted to do more research, but then it was getting late and I had to go home.

How did she even find out? I guess it doesn’t matter. If it IS the old form of magic, it looks pretty complicated. She has to carry around a notepad and draw a circle on it, AND a sigil as well. And all she gets is a basic light spell, something they teach you in kindergarten! How old is she, anyway?

But… _somehow_ this crazy, weird human found a way to do it. She said that she’d do magic, and she did it.

I’m not sure how to feel. I thought she was just a cheater, but she found a way to do magic. And you can’t just ‘cheat’ your way into that as a human. She seemed genuine about learning, and… She went over to check on me and see if I was okay. Of course, so do Ed and Em. And, they still CARE, I know that, but… I’m still mad at her for what happened.

But at the same time, Principal Bump always taught us that it’s important to spread and encourage growth. That everyone deserves access to education, a chance to become something greater. And even though that human was a cheater and a troublemaker… She also wanted to do magic. And normally that alone wouldn’t have convinced me, but then she proved that she could do it?

And I can’t just stop that… If someone wants to become a Witch, or better at magic, then it wouldn’t make the world a better place to keep them from improving. The human was a jerk, but I don’t want to keep anyone from learning magic if they were able to. Witches should help bring others up along with them, that’s what Azura said. And yeah, I know she’s not real, but…

It's always been clear to me that when someone isn't doing well in class, it's because they're not a hard worker. No matter how unskilled a witch is, hard work should make them get at _least_ a passing grade, especially if they were showing that hard work by attending tutoring. But the human is, well, a human. Humans _can't_ do magic, at least not normally. So any shortcomings she has when it comes to learning magic... isn't really the human's fault, because she's at a set-disadvantage she can't control, right? It's not HER fault she doesn't have a magic bile sac. And despite that, the human was clearly trying to learn magic anyway. Even though this older method clearly requires a lot more work, she seemed willing to go ahead and do it.

If the human wanted to become a fully-fledged witch without a bile sac, she'd have to work harder than any other witch just to accomplish the same things as them. And that's... kind of unfair. It's not fair that someone puts in just as much hard work as anyone else and gets _less_ for it. And I'd hate for things to not be fair, especially for someone who's willing to put in more effort than your average witch- If the human wanted to be a fully-fledged witch, she'd have to work even harder than _me_. The human's situation wasn't that much different from a witch who worked hard but didn't have talent, versus a witch who did work hard AND had talent. Both of them are valid people, but one gets more and the other gets less for reasons neither of them earned nor can control. As Top Student at class, it's my job to make sure every hard worker gets validated. So...

I undid the oath. I undid it so that the human could keep trying to learn magic. I don’t know if she’d do well at it or not, but like I said, the worst magic is better than no magic at all. I still felt angry at her and embarrassed because of everything that happened with her around, and after humiliating myself at the Covention, I left. I'm not sure what her deal is. The human has read _The Good Witch Azura_. Does she want to learn magic because of that? Even though she has to work harder than any other witch? I guess I can better understand why she cheated and helped Willow do the same when things would be so difficult for her, although that still doesn't make it any less wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This and the previous chapter had references at the end of Emira and Edric teasing Amity about both incidents. However, I remembered that Amity keeps her diary at the library, and it makes more sense for her to head to the library and then home, rather than go home, then to the library, and then back home to sleep.
> 
> Also, I tried to avoid references to Eda, because I'm not sure how much Amity knows about her? Does Amity recognize Eda as a criminal? I'm not sure if Lilith told her they're related. And speaking of Lilith, like with the Abomination Teacher from the previous entry, I wanted to make a point of having Amity being mad at her fellow peers, but conveniently not blaming her teachers for any incidents. I thought it was something worth noting when watching the episode and probably indicative of how she believes in the system a lot.


	3. Hooty's Moving Hassle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity reminisces on her failed Moonlight Conjuring as well as some revelations about her old friend Willow.

Am I wrong about things? Last night a lot of stuff happened... I had a Moonlight Conjuring because my parents thought it was a good idea, so they had me invite a few friends. I wasn’t really into it, and I don’t really have any friends… especially not Willow. But my parents thought it was a good idea and I should do it, so I figured I may as well get it over with.

There’s this girl in the Potions Track named Boscha. She’s kind of shallow, doesn’t seem very into school or work, and from what I heard she’s a bit of a delinquent. I wasn’t exactly planning to invite her, but then she found out and asked. At first I thought she was making fun of me, but when I tried to push her away she said she was serious. I'm not sure why. Maybe Boscha's interested in how rich my family is? Wants me to do her homework? Whatever her reasons, Boscha made a big deal about how she had a bunch of other friends she could invite, and at that point, I just wanted it over with. I didn’t want to go through the trouble of asking anyone else, so I just said why not and agreed.

Boscha nabbed a couple of her friends for the Moonlight Conjuring really quickly and then took me out shopping so we could prepare for it. She seemed really excited, but mostly she talked about stuff I didn’t care about. Again, I just wanted to get this over with. Along the way, Boscha started lecturing me about how I totally needed to get a Penstagram account like her and the others and talked about how we could follow each other. I just kind of obliged and went along with it. She helped me set up my account, and then I took a selfie with her and the others. It was… kind of fun, actually. Boscha showed me how to make a post and use emojis.

Of course, while we were shopping, I spotted Willow, her friend, and _the human_. At that point I just wanted to leave, because every time I saw the human, I always got humiliated and embarrassed and ended up having a terrible day. Luckily we didn’t really interact- Boscha made fun of Willow, and for some reason I stepped up for her and said to cut it out? I dunno, I’m still mad at Willow, but if she doesn’t have talent, then she doesn’t have talent. I can’t see why you’d make fun of someone for something they can’t control. I mean, I guess I don’t have talent either so maybe that was why, but…

Whatever. We spent the rest of the day hanging out, going to places. Boscha introduced me to her and her friends’ "Treasure Shack", but it was a pretty dinghy place. I suppose they named it that regardless because one witch's trash is another witch's treasure. I mostly just wanted to hang out at the library, but again I had to do the Moonlight Conjuring. Eventually I got the chance to book it and headed over to my house, and luckily Ed and Em weren’t home to embarrass me in front of everyone. They were off doing their own thing, but that didn’t stop them from following me on Penstagram, which Boscha told me all about when she arrived late, more on that later. I swear, she’s way too interested in my account even though I only just made it.

The others arrived one-by-one, although Boscha ended up having to be late and made a post about it, which her friends told me all about. While we waited for her to arrive, the others talked and did their own thing while I just listened. They talked about hating school, not being able to mess around because of the new Trouble-Detectors, and were being disrespectful towards the adults. They complained about the rules, but honestly that’s just probably their fault. The teachers are way more experienced than any of us and know more magic. Yeah, we go through hard work, but hard work is good and once you finish, you feel proud of what you managed to do! They were probably just making excuses, that’s all, and had neither talent nor a work ethic.

Boscha finally arrived, and she was freaked out because she claimed she saw a house on two legs that _talked_ to her. I didn’t really believe it and the others sort of teased her about it, but Boscha seemed dead-serious. She made a bunch of posts about it on Penstagram, which was when she found out that Ed and Em had followed me. We updated my account and I even added a little jab at the human, although I doubt she has a Penstagram anyway. I’m still kind of mad about what happened.

I just wanted to get the Moonlight Conjuring over with since the moon was already in position, so as soon as were finished, we tried to animate one of my old dolls. It… didn’t work out. Maybe I wasn’t in sync with Boscha and the others, or maybe someone messed it up. Maybe… _I_ messed it up? I’ve been kind of in a slump lately. First getting in trouble at the cafeteria, then humiliating myself at the Covention… It feels like everything around me’s beginning to collapse and fall apart. Just a week ago, everything was going along great, but now I’m starting to wonder if-

No. No, I’m good, hard worker. Ms. Lilith has always told me that. I’m the best student in my class. Even if that doesn’t mean much since everyone is doing terribly, Ms. Lilith herself said that I’m her best student! And she really believes in me! Yeah, she added that power glyph without telling me, but she said it was because the human would cheat, and she was right about that!

I’m not like Ed and Em, and not just because I don’t have talent. I’m dedicated, I CARE about doing well and hard work and determination always pays off. 

But, back to what happened. We kept trying, and trying, even until sunrise. Boscha and her friends quickly got sick of it and wanted me to stop, but it was MY Moonlight Conjuring and I needed to prove myself! I doubt I’ll be hanging out with them any longer. They seem like a bad crowd and would probably drag me down or take advantage of me like Willow did. I guess no friendship is sacred in this world! I wish it was easy for me like it is for Azura.

But you know what the weirdest thing was? Boscha showed me a bunch of Penstagram posts from last night, because apparently there really WAS a walking house on two legs that a bunch of people took photos of! Not only that, but…

Willow, her friend, and _the human_ were there. Believe it or not, I think they were actually _animating_ the house with their own Moonlight Conjuring! They were holding hands and everything and even destroyed a few stands here or there, which is typical.

What isn’t typical is the fact that they animated an entire HOUSE. I know the human had no magic, and I’m not sure if she used some weird trick with her old form of magic or whatever to do it. As for Willow…

One of Boscha’s friends was in the same class her, and according to her, Willow was REALLY good at the Plant Track- Like, a natural. She was _uncannily_ talented. At first I dismissed it as cheating, but then the girl explained how she saw it all with her own eyes, that no way was she cheating, and anyhow Willow just animated an entire _house_. I remembered that miniature jungle Willow made from the Abomination incident, and how Principal Bump switched her over to the Plant Track… which, he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t know what he was doing.

I’m not sure what to say about this. For a while, I always thought that Willow was… well, kind of terrible at magic. Her magic did take a bit longer than usual to manifest, and then she did terribly in the Abomination Track. But apparently, she’s actually really powerful?

I thought Willow did terrible in school because she was just a bad worker and kind of deserved it, but now… She’s not? I was wrong? Apparently she has talent… A LOT of talent. Way more than me, even more than Ed and Em apparently!

And I don’t… know how to feel about it? All this time I kind of felt bad for her, and then mad when she resorted to cheating, even though it was her fault that she did terribly in class. But it turns out she’s actually really good at something, after all? Like, SUPER good? Way better than me with Abominations? If she’s so good with her Plants, why aren’t I as good with my magic as well? Believe it or not, I kind of feel bad for calling her Half-a-Witch, at least that one time I did prior to her cheating. But if Willow was in the wrong track, then was I being fair? Was the school being fair? I had to stop hanging out with her because she could’ve impeded my progress with magic… But it turns out she’s way better than I ever was.

Now I’m starting to wonder if we still could’ve been friends after all. Could _she_ have helped me? Then again, she’s terrible at Abominations. ~~If anything, I’d have been the one dragging _her_ down…~~

I wasn’t familiar with Willow’s friend, so when Ed and Em came back home I asked them about him, since he’s in the same track as them. After being really coy about giving a straight answer, they finally explained that the kid’s name is Augustus or something like that, and he’s actually a bit of a kid prodigy? According to Ed and Em he’s actually even better than _they_ were at his age, to the point where he’s skipped a couple of grades!

Did Augustus help Willow out? Are the two of them just NATURALLY that good? Anyhow Ed and Em joked about me ditching Willow, only for her to catch up and pass me or whatever, so I just headed to the library. I thought Willow was kind of a failure, but it seems like all this time she was a prodigy, and hanging out with another talented kid like her. And there’s also the human, too. What is even up with her?

I’m tired. I missed out on a lot of sleep last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Boscha is kind of terrible and all, but I still had a lot of fun imagining her and the interactions she might've had with Amity! I'm not sure of their exact relationship, but I doubt it's anything long-lasting. Near the end, 'Boscha's friend' who knows Willow is a reference to the Saria-lookalike of the group, whom we later see in the same class with Willow in Episode 9. I thought it was a neat way to inform Amity of Willow's progress after Episode 3.


	4. Lost in Language (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity writes in her diary during the events of Lost in Language.

Why won’t the human leave me alone?! I was just minding my own business today at the library. Mr. Laramie told me about an extra credit assignment for reading to some younger kids from kindergarten, so naturally I hopped on the chance and chose an old favorite of mine, Otabin.

It actually went surprisingly well, and one of the kids, Braxas, even hugged me. It was kind of adorable. But then I spotted the human spying on me, trying to hide. Why is she even stalking me in the first place?!

She tried to be all buddy-buddy and act like she didn’t humiliate me twice and nearly jeopardize my entire future, and I wasn’t having it. I told her to scram, and to my surprise she actually did…

…For like three seconds. But then as fate would have it, she ran into Ed and Em, because of course I forgot to bring my lunch. I swear, it’s like every time the human appears, something BAD happens! She’s like a bad luck charm, only she talks and walks and stalks.

Of course, Ed and Em proceeded to make fun of me in front of the human, and then my three worst enemies became natural friends. Birds of a feather flock together, that’s what Mr. Laramie would always say. Luckily they didn’t stay for long and left, and I got to head to my hideout. I was a little scared that Ed and Em might notice, but it seems like they still don’t know! Of course, with my luck and the human’s that might change, but whatever.

Ugh, I was writing earlier when I heard Ed, Em, and the human making a ruckus! Big surprise, they were having a lot of fun making trouble and stuck to one another like magnets. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the person who’s been humiliating me and acting like it’s all fine, ends up being good friends with my siblings who do the exact same thing to me. But, you know, ALL THE TIME. Luckily I told Mr Laramie and Gary about it and they kicked the three out.

Still, I had a bad feeling so I snuck out to keep an eye on them. Just as I expected, they were planning to cause _more_ trouble by sneaking into the library at midnight, even though it was closing early for the Wailing Star tonight! I told Mr. Laramie about it, but he said there was nothing to worry about because the library’s enchantments would keep them out.

I respect Mr. Laramie. He knows more about magic and any subject than anyone I’ve ever seen, and he lets me use his childhood hideout in the library. But for all of his knowledge, he knows _nothing_ about Ed and Em or the human. I trust him, but I also know that not even he’s perfect.

I should probably do something about it, but I’m not sure what. What would I even do? Tell our parents about it? It’s not like they’d listen to me. Even if the three of them did break in and I gave Mr. Laramie proof of it, he’d just ban them, and… Then what? It’s not like Ed and Em care. Well, I guess the human would. I dunno. I should leave soon, the library’s about to close for the Wailing Star. I kind of want to see what happens, but Mr. Laramie said it’d be dangerous, and even he’s not sticking around. Again, he doesn’t know much about Ed and Em, but in regards to everything else he’s a walking library.

And as for the human… for some reason, she wants to _befriend_ me? _Why?_ What is she after? Does she _want_ something from me? Does she want me to teach her magic, because if so, then THAT's definitely not happening anytime soon! I know it's not fair that she has to work harder than anyone else and I hate that, but she's also a jerk who's gotten me in trouble several times! And if she wants me to get her into Hexside, again- Not happening, even if I wanted it to. Which, I _don't_ want it to. Luckily for me, the human is banned from Hexside, and if she tried to sneak in she’d get caught by the Trouble-Detectors. School's the one place I can actually count on besides the library, and I am not letting her mess that up for me!

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s up with the human, why she’s doing all of these crazy antics, and getting me in trouble, but then is so interested in being all buddy-buddy with me! I mean, haven’t I made it clear that I do NOT like her?! And if she’s trying to apologize, then _good luck_ \- I’m not forgiving her for what she did, and I’m not some stupid prize for her to win! The most the two of us have in common is wanting to learn magic and liking Azura, and _that’s it_. I just don't get it... Why is she so interested in _me?!_ Is she just teasing me? I find it hard to believe that someone would just... _want_ to talk to me! What is there to gain from repeatedly pestering me?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, no, Laramie is not a reference to anyone in particular. I just wanted to give the librarian a name and I thought Laramie sounded appropriate. Otherwise, I might've named him after John Bauer. I also inserted a minor headcanon I had about the librarian and Amity's relationship as well!
> 
> This chapter was also tricky for me initially, because I had to consider the timeline of events. But considering how Amity never confronts Emira, Edric, and Luz until they went into her hide-away, it stands to reason that her diary entry about Luz not leaving her alone took place after their initial encounter in Lost in Language, but before the library closed.
> 
> Also, I know I've been portraying Emira and Edric as pretty terrible- Which to be fair, they are. Since this is from Amity's perspective, I'm not mincing any words on the two. I kind of hope it'll be revealed that they do have their own moments with their little sister, and that the twins aren't completely terrible to her (but still terrible nevertheless). But for now, I decided not to take any risks and work with only what's been established.


	5. Lost in Language (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the eventful night of the Wailing Star, Amity reflects on herself and her interactions with others

Where do I even begin?

Last night, I thought about what Ed, Em, and the human might be up to, and… I suddenly got afraid that they’d find my hideout. Usually Ed and Em don’t hang around the library so they wouldn’t have found out, but knowing that they’ll explore the place during the Wailing Star? I got… paranoid. Especially with the human there as my bad luck charm.

So… I did something I’ve never done before. I snuck into the library at night.

It wasn’t totally my fault, I just wanted to check to make sure nobody broke in! I wasn’t planning to go inside myself, but I heard a bunch of noise inside, and I knew they were there. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach all of a sudden, and I went inside, and…

…I was right. They DID find it. Them and the human. I found the room to my hideout wide open. Ed and Em were laughing while the human picked up the pages of this diary, which she tore apart! All of my private thoughts and feelings, which I’d worked so hard to preserve and keep safe… And now those three had total access to it. How much did they read?! What were they going to do with this information?!

I got mad, I took back my diary. Ed and Em laughed, and the human said sorry, and… in retrospect, I think she may really have been sorry. But even if she was, she still broke into my hideout, the one safe, precious place I had in this stupid world. It felt like I was exposed naked in front of her, but probably worse. I took back my diary and ran away, and I tried not to cry. But that was kind of impossible, because now my precious hideout was exposed and I no longer had a place where I could be alone and private. I didn’t have a place I could just be _myself_ , without anyone watching me, having any expectations, judgements…

And I’m still angry at Ed and Em about it! I don’t know what to do right now. I’m writing in you now, but I don’t feel safe keeping you in my room. I guess I could just keep you on me at all times, but that also feels risky. Maybe I should just burn you.

Just like at the Covention, the human caught up to me. She was still concerned about me, but was she really? I don’t know. Ed and Em, as awful as they are… They’ve had their moments where they looked out for me. Is she just like them? Or is Luz genuinely nicer?

It’s too much to think about. As if I hadn’t been exposed to Luz enough that night, then it turned out that the Wailing Star brings illustrations to life, which… I’ll write about THAT later. But Otabin, my favorite childhood book, came to life as some deformed monster. He tried to sew me into a _book_ , but then…

_Luz_ came to my rescue. Which to be fair, I’m sure Ed and Em would do the same, they had just left before their mess endangered me. Believe it or not, Luz took advantage of the Wailing Star’s power to, and I kid you not… _dress up as Azura_. Down to the staff and everything.

And I know it’s super-dumb, but for a moment, when she initially appeared… I legitimately thought it was Azura, even for the briefest, stupidest split second.

Of course, it wasn’t, it was Luz the human and my bad luck charm. The Wailing Star’s power only went so far in giving her the look of Azura but none of the actual ability. She got partially sewn in like I was, and I thought we were doomed and I was mad at her again, since Luz’s whole breaking-and-entering with Ed and Em got _me_ into this mess in the first place. You know the funniest bit? It was that I was actually kind of angrier about dying with Luz, than about _dying_ in the first place.

But, somehow we got away, through Luz literally making stuff up as she went along and improvising while I followed. Maybe it was because the Wailing Star was active and I noticed that she drew a picture of me being amazed by her… More on that later… But in that moment, as we got away and she freaked out about how she did her crazy stunts, she was…

Well, Luz was actually kind of funny. I laughed, all right? I admit it. She made a weird face and noise and for a moment, she wasn’t some jerk, but just a really funny weirdo.

Then Otabin attacked us, and I actually ended up saving Luz, which… even if I hadn’t laughed earlier, I still would’ve done it. I’m not some heartless monster, and she DID risk her life to save me. It’s only fair. We erased Ed and Em’s alterations to Otabin and he returned back to normal.

It was… WEIRD. This whole night was weird. Otabin, who I read all about as a kid, who I nostalgically remembered earlier that day, was right there and alive, right in my arms. I always dreamed of meeting him and Azura in real life, but now it actually happened.

I mean, I still know that it’s just a manifestation of the Wailing Star’s power, but for a moment, he seemed scared. Guilty. He apologized, but it wasn’t his fault, just Ed and Em’s as usual. I told him it was okay, that we’d always be friends, and then… I let him go. A part of me almost wishes I kept him around for a little longer, that we could’ve talked more. That I could’ve told him it was okay, that he’d _always_ have friends, and not just with me. As a kid, Otabin and I shared that same loneliness, I guess, although even Otabin eventually got his happy ending in the book.

It was just me and Luz at that point and it was already morning. She helped me clean up a lot of the books that got knocked over, and the two of us were just sort of quiet the whole time. I could tell that… she really felt bad about what happened. And, I’m still angry about what happened. I still lost an incredibly precious, private part of my life forever. I don’t know how to deal with Ed and Em when I get back.

But Luz has… well, she’s _tried_ to be nice. She hasn’t been the best at it, but still. But I’m not sure if she’s just Ed and Em, and that if I let her in, she’ll think it’s okay to keep messing with me like they do. I don’t want her to think that I’m okay with everything that happened all of a sudden!

As we cleaned up, I saw that drawing she made of herself dressed like Azura, with me all wowed at her, in this _diary_ no less. I… don’t know what to think about it. Luz has always been an enigma to me, but again, this seemed genuine. Of course, maybe she thought the Wailing Star could _make_ me like her. I only laughed when it was active, and I won’t deny that her attempts to befriend me like it was some sort of game felt condescending.

But in the end, she still stuck around. I wasn’t sure what she saw in me, but she saw something. Maybe it was just a source of entertainment, ~~maybe it was a friend~~. As we left the library, she actually let me _borrow_ her Volume 5 of _The Good Witch Azura_. After I got over the embarrassing realization that she knew about it, and probably knew why I dyed my hair as well, I…

I apologized. Thinking about it now, maybe I have been a little mean. After the Abomination incident, she did offer to be nice when we met again at the Covention. And now, she was giving me this gift, as an apology of sorts… an Azura book, something I love and something I’m pretty sure she loves too.

A gift doesn’t make up for anything she did, but then… I guess I’ve been kind of mean in my own way. Like with the whole dissection incident. Or stepping on her pet’s cupcake. And the binding oath. And a lot of other things. Then there’s how I treated Willow, and…

…I don’t know. I just… DON’T know. Am I the bad guy in this scenario? Am I Hecate, and is she Azura? Or is it the other way around, or is it neither? Maybe Luz is unlucky, just like me- I’d believe it. Around the time she showed up, I’ve just been feeling confused and now I don’t even have my hideout anymore. I feel like there’s this awkward tension between me and Luz, and I can’t just ask Ed and Em how much of my diary they read. A part of me wants to trust Luz, but after the whole Willow incident at school, I’m not sure if I can trust anyone. And even if Luz really, genuinely wanted to be my friend... I mean, if she got to know the real me, she'd probably realize I wasn't all that anyway. So she'd still be disappointed and probably leave. I bet she cares more for the idea of me than who I _actually_ am.

...But even so, Luz also let me borrow her book as a gift. Maybe there are strings attached, but she still just did that for me, without prompting. I’m not sure what I did to warrant that.

I’d go to sleep, but I’ve got too much on my mind. Plus, it’d look suspicious to Mom and Dad… not that they know I snuck out last night. I think I’ll just read the book Luz gave me. Part of me doesn’t want to touch it because it’s from Luz, and she’s her OWN mess of emotions, but on the other hand I’ve honestly always wanted to read this book. I’ve kind of been dying to find out how Azura and Hecate become allies, it’s something I’ve even theorized about for a bit.

Okay. I’m definitely reading it after this. As for you, diary, I’ll figure out what to do with you eventually. If I do burn you, I’ll probably write down one last commemorative entry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending part of this was a bit tricky for me to write, because we don't have any canon reference of Amity's thoughts and feeling after the episode. I could only speculate about how her character developed at the end, but I didn't want to go too far and say she was A-okay with Luz now. I still wanted to leave room for any remaining antagonism between the two in case it's there later on this season. That being said, I don't want Amity to be TOO antagonistic either, so she's at a sort of in-between point regarding her feelings on Luz.
> 
> Also, it was a LOT of fun writing about Luz from someone else's perspective. I love Luz and how much of an utter weirdo she is. She's just such a cryptid and I really wanted to capture that in Amity's diary entries!
> 
> EDIT: I just updated this story. I made sure to fix the lack of spaces between certain words because Ao3 was weird about formatting the story. I added in some references to the Trouble-Detectors from Episode 9, and remembered to name Boscha and her friends' "Treasure Shack" from Episode 8. Most importantly, I made sure to emphasize, especially in the Lost in Language Entries, Amity's confusion about Luz approaching her. I wanted to convey the idea that Amity is the kind of person who's suspicious whenever someone approaches her, because obviously they're after something and what could be appealing about her? And even if they got to know her, the person would probably lose interest in Amity... that sort of thing. I also added it in the beginning of the Hooty's Moving Hassle entry with Boscha as well. I'm not sure how genuine Boscha's friendship with Amity is, but I like to imagine that while she's definitely shallow, Boscha wasn't really asking for anything from Amity. She seems like the kind of person who sees someone like her and is like, "Duh- We should hang out!"


End file.
